Bitchsession

DogTown South Africa Episode 1

2010-07-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

A kind of language trailer

2010-03-01T12:51:00.000-08:00

New respect for DOP's the world over

2010-02-26T01:31:00.000-08:00

Have just finished DOP duties on Mad Cow for Mikes Rix and Wright and after ten days of 12-16 hours a day am truly shattered. I think the film has some marketing potential but the main thing I've learnt on this shoot is that it's near impossible to shoot a feature film single cam over a ten day period, the schedule is just too gruelling, fun and creative as it was, after the 12 hour mark your body just starts to shut down, but the experience was an awesome one :)

Also, this project was in my humble opinion a little too ambitious for its very meager budget, this wasn't low budget film-making it was no budget film-making and what Mike Rix, his brother and the rest of the crew pulled off on a shoestring deserves applause and a sale at Cannes to say the very least, let's hope this time that fortune favours the brave 'cos these boys were brave and fearless warriors fighting against the clock.

Also both our leads had incredible comic timing and their performances certainly caught me by surprise, full kudos to Tanya and Greg, they came to the party and played hard.

Good Luck boys.

DISTRICT 9 JOHANNESBURG PREMIERE

2009-08-19T15:10:00.000-07:00

HAVE DECIDED TO FINALLY SHOOT INDIE HORROR

2009-06-21T03:21:00.000-07:00

Am busy scripting as I write this, will try and start shooting by January/February 2010 - shoot for 20 odd days then post the shit out of it. Want to shoot a trailer first to try and get some kind of funding - any ideas?

SA'S GOT TALENT STARTS SHOOTING

2009-06-19T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well it's started and the footage from the pre-auditions has started to roll in. DUe to contractual reasons I'm obviously not allowed to go into any details but I must say it looks like we're gonna have a hell of a show.

Thank the Gods we have 2 seasoned vets as presenters (who shall remain nameless) and from the bit of footage I've scoured through so far I must say it looks like South Africa does indeed have talent.

Great turnouts at Cape Town and Durban and so I'm told in Johannesburg today as well.

Now if only we could get someone of the magnitude of Simon Cowell to do a guest appearance on the show - it will explode.

Will reveal more if and when I'm allowed to.

The Ultimate Cinema Complex

2009-05-25T01:29:00.000-07:00

My friends out there will be pleased to know that my faith in movie-going has been restored. Too often in the last four or so years when I've decided to get my lazy arse to a cinema the experience has been a bad one, a tirade of insults being hurled by myself at a restless "far too young" audience, a scratchy second hand film print that looks like it's been resurrected from a New York Grindhouse circa 1972, sound quality that a 12inch black and white portable Tv could easily duplicate - well I think you get it - generally unpleasant.

I've always maintained that the very reason South African cinema-going attendance is on the decline is due to the fact that the experience itself is a horrible one, with all the problems and many more that I've listed above, not due to the fact that's it's expensive, 'cos it's not. South Africa is statistically one of the cheapest countries in the world to go and watch a movie on circuit.

All that has now changed since I found Cedar Square Cinema Nouveau this last Friday evening - what a fantastic experience. The seats were huge lounger type numbers, soft to the touch and the behind, the print was brand new, the sound was indeed dynamic digital sound, the legroom was ample, the audience were sophisticated ie. OLDER and the staff were both friendly and helpful and best of all - IT WAS STILL CHEAP!

I would have gladly paid the full price of R44-oo per ticket for an experience as memorable as this one, but with the CLUB CARD I had, I managed to secure 2 tickets for that price - awesome.

So if you do reside in the Gauteng area and you are an avid cinema fan, do yourself a favour right now and make your way to Cedar Square Noveau for THE BEST movie-going experience of your life- hands down...

Please send your comments through or post them

2009-05-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

GOOD LUCK AT CANNES WITH THE TRAILER

2009-05-11T01:16:00.000-07:00

Just cut a trailer for a friend - gone to Cannes with it. Looking for an extra $500K for shooting budget - Any takers?

2009-05-10T12:05:00.000-07:00

ADRIAN THIS IS FOR YOU - NEARLY WET MYSELF !!!

2009-05-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

PG PORN: Squeal Happy Whores

"ADAM LAMBERT" THE FIRST FRIEND OF YOU!

2009-05-09T12:11:00.000-07:00

Clever, clever boy - :)

DOESN'T THIS STUPID BITCH KNOW BY NOW HE'S GAY???

2009-05-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

BUDGETS

2009-05-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

Just watching these huge reality formats and working on some of them out here - the foreign budgets genuinely make me green with envy - All we're lumped with is basically a catering budget and are forced to produce an entire series of something "earth shattering" with that.

When will our local broadcasters finally wake up and smell the coffee and realise that these things take both time and money to nurture and really make them the spectacles that they become in other countries.

Any Comments?

A CLASSIC SLASHER FILM TO RE-VISIT

2009-05-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

VERY FUNNY JOHN CLEESE ON TWITTER

2009-05-09T05:48:00.000-07:00

The man is a walking comic marvel. Just to prove to all the naysayers that it's pretty legit. My sentiments exactly.

Found Location for Horror Movie

2009-05-09T04:38:00.001-07:00

I think I've found the perfect location to shoot "The Lake" and conveniently enough close to home - now all I need is a cast - shot some stills and threw them together - lemme know if you think location might work.

Will shoot DVCPRO-HD

ZUMA ARRIVE WITH "SENIOR" WIFE

2009-05-09T03:06:00.001-07:00

I mean is it just me or does this reek of pure unadulterated sexism? People are constantly berating us in this country for being culturally indifferent or even bankrupt but to quote Louise,"It was my culture hundreds of years ago to be subservient to men, to allow them to rape, pillage and pretty much take whatever they want, does this mean we should uphold such appalling traditions"

I think not.

C'mon South Africa - Isn't it about time we woke up and smelt the 20th century before leaping blindly into the new millenium. Can I get an o yeah?

2009-05-09T01:10:00.001-07:00

H2 is on its way

2009-05-09T00:54:00.000-07:00

For all you Halloween purists out there, I'm sure this will be the non-event of the year, but for one such as myself who encourages change and mixing things up a little, this truly looks awesomely original and resepectful of the original at the same time.

Rob Zombie is a one man horror renaissance factory and I for one will be a slave to his cult for a long time coming.

KIRSTIE VS PEREZ - THE HIGHLIGHTS

2009-05-08T14:10:00.000-07:00

from KIRSTIE
Perez is going bad ass on me today..becuz he is what? so petite himself? at least fat or skinny I will never have Harvey FACE...sorry P ...
LET'S all give Perez a big HOWDY bitch slap..never mind...he looks like he's already been bitch slapped half to death! call an ambulance!!
OH WAIT you say "he's already been run over by an ambulance and that's WHY he's so damn ugly?" oh,sorry P I had no idea..my bad
PEREZ STARTED THIS WAR BY THE WAY...NEVER MENTIONED HIM IN MY LIFE...don't feel sorry for him..he threw the first bitch slap..like a bab ...
OH WOW NOW THE BABY girl is throwing out the RELIGIOUS slurs..come on you little BIGGOT you can do better than that..
esides, I happen to love gay people, and I am open to gay marriage..I am not a biggot, I just think you are FUCKIN UGLY..ugly BIGGOT ba ...
That was FUN...two battles in two days...Damn somethins right with this wonderful life..I luv you guys..we smack down for REAL!!!!

NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT ;)
CELEBRITIES DISSING EACH OTHER

KIRSTIE VS PEREZ

2009-05-08T13:17:00.000-07:00

This is turning out to be a mini WWE smackdown between these 2 - am watching the tweets update live - will post once done - rivetting entertainment to watch 2 pseudo celebs slinging mud at one another - it's celebrity deathmatch for real and it's comin' to a pc near you :)

FOLLOW MY TWEETS

2009-05-08T13:08:00.001-07:00

Just follow me on https://twitter.com/rhaynes1974

2009-05-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

I have just discovered today what is undoubtedly one of the most addictive internet and or media related tools ever and that is TWITTER. For any of you gossip mongers or celeb hounds out there watch in awe as your favourite celebs inform you of those most important life-like moments of waking up - telling you what the weather is like in their part of the world or even - indeed - whether or not they've just farted.

I kid you not - Will be becoming a fervent tweeter/twitterer or is that TWAT in the very near future - watch this space

Have a a fab eve - from a chilly Jo'burg